The Big Day Approaches!

As the date for surgery comes closer, I’ve been wanting to spend more time alone. Part of this is because when I feel my stress and anxiety levels rise, I’m not always fun to be around. In fact, even I don’t like to be around me! But taking the time and space to get quiet and reflect has really helped me recenter. I notice that part of me is a little judgmental of this need for solitude, especially because there’s been such an outpouring of support! I mean, one friend has lent me a recliner to sleep in for the first few days of recovery (which is what I’m told is easiest since I won’t be able to get up on my own for a few days), and another friend set up an online meal train so my caregivers and I don’t have to cook much for two weeks post-surgery! That same judgmental part “shoulds” on me by telling I should be always available to those who are involved in my recovery as a token of my gratitude, but my more gentle and logical self knows better than to force socialization onto my introverted nature. I think anyone who energetically recharges best in solitude knows what I’m talking about. And anyone who was conditioned to believe that self-sufficiency is the ultimate virtue will know how uncomfortable it is to lean into help and support, especially around physical limitation. So, it’s with great honor and humility that I say thank you to everyone who is offering their time, energy, resources, and love to me during this exciting and vulnerable time. I’m truly filled with more gratitude than I can express. I also want to thank all of you who are sending love, prayers, and good vibes my way for a successful surgery and recovery! I feel your intentions every day, and your ongoing support of me and our PW community is so important and seen and valued. See you on the other side, friends!